The Gundam Characters Mailing List
by Callisto Nicol
Summary: What happens when everybody joins a mailing list? Organized chaos, that's what!


A/N: Hello all my devoted fans! I wrote another fanfiction! Sure, it took me a year and a half, but still…it's the product that counts! Okay, I have a few things to say about this fic. One: None of these e-mail addresses really exist, so don't try to use them (at least, I THINK none of them really exist…) Two: I made the mailing list up, so it doesn't exist either (I think). Three, about the e-mail addies…Well, about the time they join the ML the e-mail addies change every time. They're actually pretty spiffy; sometimes they're relevant to what's going on, and sometimes the e- mail addresses tell their own stories. Thanks to Celeste-chan, who gave me a few of them (which ones, though, I can't remember, but she did). So, well, uhh…I guess that's it. R/R!  
  
SDA  
  
^*^*^*^*  
  
Soda Springs and the Braid  
  
^*^*^*^*  
  
To: Duo Maxwell belongs2hilde@deathscythe.com  
  
From: Heero Yuy godie@zero.com  
  
Subject: When?  
  
Maxwell,  
  
When are we going to Soda Springs? I desperately need to get away from Relena.  
  
  
  
To: Heero Yuy godie@zero.com  
  
From: Duo Maxwell belongs2hilde@deathscythe.com  
  
Subject: soon?  
  
Heero  
  
Who cares? I'm havin loads of fun w/ hilde! *sly look* U know what I mean? Anywhos, I'll ask quatre and get back 2 ya.  
  
--The God of Death  
  
  
  
To: Quatre Winner all4thequatreML@sandrock.com  
  
From: Duo belongs2hilde@deathscythe.com  
  
Subject: heeros getting antsy  
  
heero wants 2 kno when were going 2 soda springz. He wants to get away from RDP. Wuz de buzz?  
  
--The God of Death  
  
  
  
To: Heero godie@zero.com, Duo belongs2hilde@deathscythe.com, Trowa Barton circusfreak@heavyarms.com, Wufei Chang ihatewomen@nojustice.com  
  
From: Quatre iloveCallisto@grlz.com  
  
Subject: How about Friday?  
  
Guys  
  
I was thinking lets go on Friday and stay for a week. We can relieve ourselves of stress and have a good time! Please respond.  
  
~Quatre  
  
  
  
To: Quatre iloveLissa@grlz.com  
  
From: Wufer-Butt ihatewomen@nojustice.com  
  
Subject: Re: How about Friday?  
  
Sorry—can't come. Callisto and Celeste are mad at me. I'm in hiding.  
  
WC  
  
  
  
To: Quatre iloveCrow@grlz.com  
  
From: Duo theworldsux@youhateme.com  
  
Subject: Fine fine  
  
Quatre  
  
friday? fine fine…lemme go break the bad newz 2 hilde  
  
--The God of Death  
  
  
  
To: Quatre iloveSparkle@grlz.com  
  
From: Trowa noname@heavyarms.com  
  
Subject: (none)  
  
Quatre,  
  
I can come. Is it all right if I bring my teddy bear? Mina made it for me.  
  
Trowa Barton  
  
  
  
To: Quatre all4thequatreML@sandrock.com, Trowa noname@heavyarms.com, Duo belongs2hilde@deathscythe.com  
  
From: Heero ihavenosoftside@anti-relena.com  
  
Subject: I hate Relena  
  
Can we change the date? Relena somehow hacked into my account and knows what we're planning. I've changed my e-mail address so she won't know the date.  
  
  
  
To: The gundam pilots  
  
From: Duo belongs2hilde@deathscythe.com  
  
Subject: WAHOOO!  
  
heero u saved my butt! Hilde woozy ready to smoke me hide when i told her, but if we go @ a l8r date, that's great!  
  
--The God of Death  
  
  
  
To: Relena Dorlian Peacecraft heeroismine@heeroshrine.com  
  
From: Hilde Schbeiker duberriesandcream@maxwell.com  
  
Subject: Way to go!  
  
*High fives* Way to go, Relena! That was pure genius, hacking into Heero's account! Oh, by the way, did you know he changed his e-mail addy? It's now ihavenosoftside@anti-relena.com  
  
~Hilde S~  
  
  
  
To: Hilde duberriesandcream@maxwell.com  
  
From: Relena heeroismine@heeroshrine.com  
  
Subject: Thank you  
  
Thank you, Hilde. I'm glad to know where he 'resides' now. How did you find out?  
  
~Relena  
  
  
  
To: Relena heeroismine@heeroshrine.com  
  
From: Hilde GoddessofDeath@maxwell.com  
  
Subject: Well, I…  
  
…hacked into Duo's account long ago, just to make sure he isn't cheating on me.  
  
~Hilde S~  
  
  
  
To: Hilde duberriesandcream@maxwell.com  
  
From: Relena heeroismine@heeroshrine.com  
  
Subject: Oh dear  
  
Um, Hilde, you probably don't know this, but…Duo has a second e-mail address. It is kissmebabyImaprince@all4u.com and he has a female correspondence by the name of Lydia. I think you know where I'm going with this.  
  
~Relena  
  
  
  
To: Relena iluvu@heero.com  
  
From: Hilde dontmesswithme@ticked.com  
  
Subject: WHAT?!?!  
  
HOW DARE HE. I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!!!!!!!! Thank you for telling me, Relena. I owe you on this.  
  
~Hilde~  
  
  
  
To: Heero Yuy ihavenosoftside@anti-relena.com, Quatre Winner all4thequatreML@sandrock.com  
  
From: Duo Maxwell kissmebabyImaprince@all4u.com  
  
Subject: HELP ME!  
  
GAH!! HEAVEN HELP ME! Hilde found out bout Lydia! what am I gonna do? she wants to kill me!  
  
~Desperately in need of your help  
  
  
  
To: Duo Maxwell kissmebabyImaprince@all4u.com  
  
From: Quatre all4thequatreML@sandrock.com  
  
Subject: (none)  
  
I told you not to cheat on Hilde!  
  
~Quatre  
  
  
  
To: Duo kissmebabyImaprince@all4u.com  
  
From: Heero ihavenosoftside@anti-relena.com  
  
Subject: *snicker*  
  
That's what you get for openly settling down with a woman. If Hilde succeeds in roasting your hide, I want a seat of honour at the funeral.  
  
  
  
To: Heero ihavenosoftside@anti-relena.com  
  
From: Duo imscrewed@chicks.com  
  
Subject: Heaven does work miracles!  
  
Heaven behold, heero DOES have a sense of humour. but seriously, what can i do?  
  
--The God of Death  
  
  
  
To: Duo imscrewed@chiks.com  
  
From: Relena ihatepolitics@usuk.com  
  
Subject: Absolutely nothing!  
  
You can't do a gosh durn thing! Hilde is really ticked at you. She feels used, abused, and betrayed! I wouldn't go near her if I were you…those are some mighty powerful water balloons.  
  
~Relena  
  
To: Relena ihatepolitics@usuk.com  
  
From: Duo HELPME@screwed.com  
  
Subject: Whered u come from?!  
  
Hey, whered you get my e-mail address from? For that matter, whered you read that letter? …uh-oh, you hacked into heero's account again, didn'tja? And hey, what are those "water" balloons made of anyway?  
  
--The God of Death  
  
To: Everyone (literally)  
  
From: Hilde ExgoddessofDeath@pissed.com  
  
Subject: A mailing list  
  
This is getting confusing. I suggest we start a mailing list so everyone can read everyone's messages, and we girl's won't have to hack into you guys' e-mail accounts anymore. So if you would, join the Gundam Character's ML and this will all be easier.  
  
~Hilde~  
  
p.s.-I'm still not talking to you, Duo.  
  
  
  
To: Gundamcharacters@ML.com  
  
From: Quatre ireallydontluvdorothy@not4u.com  
  
Subject: C'est fantastic!  
  
Wonderful idea, Hilde! Women really are the brains of the world.  
  
~Quatre  
  
  
  
To: Gundamcharacters@ML.com  
  
From: Heero iloveceleste@missionaccepted.com  
  
Subject: What's taking so long?  
  
I've joined this gosh durn thing, now when are you going to kill Duo?  
  
  
  
To: ML  
  
From: Trowa tightropewalker@thinline.com  
  
Subject: ML  
  
Good idea, Hilde. Now please enlighten me as to your problem with Duo.  
  
Trowa  
  
  
  
To: ML  
  
From: Relena girlsrule@women.com  
  
Subject: (none)  
  
A mailing list! Wonderful idea, friend! It saves us the time of hacking into Duo and Heero's accounts. So, you still ticked at Duo?  
  
~Relena  
  
  
  
To: ML  
  
From: Wufer-butt womensuck@men.com  
  
Subject: Temporarily here  
  
I'm still in hiding with a mad Celeste and Callisto hot on my tail. I'll talk when I can. Ja!  
  
WC  
  
  
  
To: ML  
  
From: Dorothy Catalonia ilovewar@warriors.com  
  
Subject: (none)  
  
Thanx for inviting me, I feel so loved. What's going on?  
  
Dorothy C.  
  
  
  
To: ML  
  
From: Duo IMSORRYALREADYPLEASEFORGIVEME@all4u.com  
  
Subject: Hildeeee!  
  
Hilde, I'm sorry! Pleeze next time i walk into a room where you are, throw glares my way, not knives! *rubs arm* that cut stings!  
  
--The God of Death  
  
  
  
To: ML  
  
From: Callisto Nicol imincharge@theauthor.com  
  
Subject: Cracking up  
  
A bit off the subject, but I just have to say…LOL! Wufer-butt, do you know that in Europe WC means water closet, aka toilet? Teehee! You're signing your name as toilet!  
  
~~Callisto  
  
  
  
To: ML  
  
From: Hilde istillhateu@deathglares.com  
  
Subject: I am so good  
  
Thank you everyone for joining. Trowa, Duo cheated on me with Lydia and I want to kill him. Heero, don't worry—Duo might be dead by midnight. Yes, Relena, I still hate his guts—he's now sleeping in the doghouse. Good luck, Wufei, I know how much Callisto hates you! (*snicker*water closet*snicker*) Welcome Dorothy! Why, Duo? I personally thought the knife throwing experience was fun. Oh, and stay away from me this afternoon. I bought a handgun.  
  
~Hilde S~  
  
  
  
To: ML  
  
From: Zechs Merquise lightningquick@gonebeforeuknowit.com  
  
Subject: (none)  
  
This is rather interesting. Keep up the good work, Hilde. (Oh, and Duo, if I were you I'd be very careful. Hilde's been talking to Noin recently on the art of silent assassination.)  
  
--Zechs  
  
  
  
To: ML  
  
From: Duo iloveyouHilde@onlyu.com  
  
Subject: PLEEEEEEAAAASE!  
  
Puh-uh-uh-LEEZE forgive me! I'll do anything, Hilde, ANYTHING! I'll blow up Deathscythe—again—, give up beer, stop watching TV, even chop off my braid for you! PLEAZE!  
  
In Desperate Need of The Goddess of Death  
  
  
  
To: ML  
  
From: Heero iloveceleste@missionaccepted.com  
  
Subject: snip, snip!  
  
Hilde, make him cut his braid! I'll even do the honours for you!  
  
  
  
To: ML  
  
From: Treize Khushrenada thedeadguy@heaven.com  
  
Subject: Children  
  
*sigh* You children. –Treize  
  
  
  
To: ML  
  
From: Trowa whereismyteddybear@looking.com  
  
Subject: (none)  
  
Treize? *faint*  
  
/Trowa\  
  
  
  
To: ML  
  
From: Bob ilikegundamwing@authorzfriend.com  
  
Subject: Duo's braid  
  
Don't cut off Duo's braid, it's niftyness!  
  
Bob the Admiral, SIR!  
  
  
  
To: ML  
  
From: Hilde urscrewedduo@byebye.com  
  
Subject: Re: snip, snip!  
  
Hee…Duo, you, me, the scissors, tonight, my room. *evil, EVIL grin*  
  
~Hilde S~  
  
  
  
To: ML  
  
From: Duo thecruelcruelworldhatesme@sniffle.com  
  
Subject: I live to serve you  
  
I'll be there, hilde…I live 2 serve u, even if….if….it means…c-c-cutting MY PRECIOUS BRAID OFF!!!!! WAAAHHH!!!! *sniffle, sniffle, sob*  
  
Duo Maxwell  
  
  
  
To: ML  
  
From: Relena irulehere@sanqkingdom.com  
  
Subject: Wow  
  
Gosh, Duo, I almost feel sorry for you. But then I remember Lydia and my sympathy flies out the window. Gee, Heero, you could learn a lot from Duo.  
  
~Relena Dorlian  
  
  
  
To: ML  
  
From: Trowa ifoundteddy@notlost.com  
  
Subject: (none)  
  
Duo, if you need to feel better, you can always give my teddy bear a hug or six. He'll be sympathetic.  
  
/Trowa\  
  
To: ML  
  
From: Duo goodbymyluv@nohair.com  
  
Subject: *sniffle* thanx  
  
Thanx, trowa, I'll call u if I need the teddybear. (expect a call about 1 or 2 am…)  
  
Duo  
  
To: ML  
  
From: Quatre GAH@2manysisters.com  
  
Subject: (none)  
  
*glare* Gee, Trowa, you never offered me the comfort of your teddy bear!  
  
~One Mad Blonde  
  
  
  
To: ML  
  
From: Noin firefighter@preventer.com  
  
Subject: Child squabbles  
  
Trowa, you'd better watch out. When quatre gets mad, he'll make you feel like the Pit of Doom. It's truly a unique talent he has. And if you aren't crying within the first week…STOP HANGING AORUND HEERO.  
  
Noin  
  
  
  
To: ML  
  
From: Dorothy missrelena@war4me.com  
  
Subject: *sniff, sniff* War?  
  
Is this a war among friends I see coming?  
  
Catalonia  
  
  
  
To: ML  
  
From: Callisto whatisaygoes@theboss.com  
  
Subject: GAH!  
  
Gah, stop it, Dorothy, you're starting to sound like Keturah and Panther and Zander!  
  
~~Callisto  
  
  
  
To: ML  
  
From: Quatre iluvyou@callidear.com  
  
Subject: RE: Child squabbles  
  
You know your stuff, Noin. Just ask Calli—right now I'm crying because of Trowa.  
  
~Quatre  
  
  
  
To: ML  
  
From: Trowa thanx2mina@teddy.com  
  
Subject: Well excuse me  
  
I'm terribly sorry, Quatre, but you never had the need of my teddy bear like Duo does.  
  
No Name  
  
To: ML  
  
From: Quatre Iamhurt@abused.com  
  
Subject: RE: Well excuse me  
  
What about when ALL of my sister came to visit, huh? HUH? What about that?!  
  
~Quatre  
  
  
  
To: ML  
  
From: Trowa sorry@abashed.com  
  
Subject: Re: Well excuse me  
  
…  
  
Point well taken. *hands Quatre teddy bear*  
  
No Name  
  
  
  
To: ML  
  
From: Heero theneighborisdead@missioncomplete.com  
  
Subject: Stop it already  
  
Who cares about a dumb teddy bear. I want to know whether or not Duo still has his annoying braid. Hilde, your mission complete yet?  
  
  
  
To: ML  
  
From: Relena men@insensitivejerks.com  
  
Subject: Heero Yuy!  
  
You inconsiderate jerk! Did you ever bother to think that maybe Duo likes his hair the way it is? I cannot believe you just said that! I'm not talking to you anymore.  
  
Relena Dorlian  
  
Vice Foreign Minister  
  
  
  
To: ML  
  
From: Heero ImFree@anti-relena.com  
  
Subject: P-A-R-T-Y!  
  
There's a party at my house this weekend. Relena stopped talking to me.  
  
  
  
To: ML  
  
From: Hitomi Kanzaki GaeaTourist@MysticMoon.com  
  
Subject: (none)  
  
*blink blink* I think I'm in the wrong anime.  
  
~Hitomi  
  
  
  
To: ML  
  
From: Duo imalive@NoWig.com  
  
Subject: AIEEEE!!!  
  
I'm alive and I still have hair! Hilde let me off!  
  
--The God of Death  
  
  
  
To: ML  
  
From: Hilde hilde@queenoftheworld.com  
  
Subject: Re: AIEEEE!  
  
Liar. I didn't let you off. At least, not completely. I cut off 2 inches of his braid, and he's to be my _devoted_ servant/lapdog for the rest of his life. Plus he still sleeps in the doghouse.  
  
~Hilde S~  
  
  
  
To: ML  
  
From: Heero ihavethebraid@trophies.com  
  
Subject: Re: AIEEEE!  
  
The doghouse is too good for Duo, Hilde. Thanks, btw, for the braid.  
  
  
  
To: ML  
  
From: Trowa Nanashi@NoName.com  
  
Subject: Confusion  
  
Hey guys, whatever happened to the Soda Springs idea?  
  
/No Name\  
  
  
  
^*^*^*^*  
  
How'd ya like it? If I get enough reviews, I might put out the second part in a week or so. I won't make any promises about the third part, though, b/c I haven't written it yet. Ideas are welcome, as are potential e-mail addies! Anything goes! Merci mes amis! ~~Calli 


End file.
